Look Past the Broken Parts and See the Potential

***Originally posted on anotherjoproject.com.***

I see such potential in items that often go unnoticed. These roughed up make-over candidates are just like people to me. Their beauty is covered by the wear and tear from the years they have survived, and their youthful shine long gone. But if you are willing to look closer, to put in a little time, to see past the imperfections that mar the surface, you may find that they are not as broken as they initially seemed.

This is another window I recently added. I almost went right past it because some glass was missing, and there was a large crack traversing one of the panes. Thankfully I gave it another look and recognized the beauty beyond the cracks and the grime.

Once more I added shelf brackets to reinforce to strength of the old frame and to diminish the distraction of the missing glass in the corner. I also screwed a fun little bird wall hanger into the top of the frame so I could add a wreath. Simple wreaths are very easy to make, and they can add a nice finished feel if you have the sense that there is too much bare visual space in the layout.

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Look for potential beneath the dust, the possibility beyond the years. It’s surprising how often the most unnoticeable of items are often anything but lackluster nor are they really broken. Celebrate the years and recognize the character and personality that they can bring to your walls and your life.  🙂

Best to you always.  Jo

 

Quick Update on Week One of Low Carb – Keto-ish Me

Well I’m still alive, so that’s a positive. Also I’ve stuck to the low carb menu with shocking ease. I keep waiting for the standard carb rage / sugar craving temper tantrums to kick in, but those have yet to occur.

A couple of days ago, I had a check-up with my hoo-hah-ologist and was inadvertently forced to weigh myself while there. The number showed that I was down six pounds (in less than a week)! I was so stunned that I threw caution to the wind and decided to weigh myself at home, too. Six pounds down confirmed! Unfortunately that number bounced back up by a couple of pounds once the week marker actually struck a day or so later, but hey – that’s still four pounds in a week. Overall I’d say that doesn’t suck. 🙂

More Rustic Decor Ideas – Adding Sass to Antlers

Here’s another quick décor post I wrote for on anotherjoproject.com.  🙂

https://anotherjoproject.com/2018/05/29/twisted-nature-antlers-with-fabric-and-flash/

I Feel Guilty About the Food I’ve Been Giving My Family

A week ago, I would have done backflips to get my paws on the naughtylicious crepe in the pic above. My kids would have been right there with me, too. Now a few short days later, it actually does not look that appealing to me. Even though it has only been a few days, no  one in the world is more stunned about this change in approach than I.

But my kids aren’t riding the low carb / no sugar train with me. They continue to eat the prepackaged sugar-ridden everythings that have adorned the shelves of our fridge and pantry for years.

So over the last week, I have started to include a few better options along with their standard selections (a.k.a. the normal crapola). I’m doing this gradually to avoid being met with miniature yet effective torches and pitchforks.

The part that makes me feel extremely
guilty is that whenever I have offered healthy additions, they have gobbled those up, too. No complaints (other than the squash dry heaving incident). No significant gripes. They have just eaten them and asked for more. I didn’t even have to push.

I’m not telling you that my kids are raising their voices to the angels in praise for kale. No one in my house is going to have that religious experience. But baked chicken, almond flour pancakes, avocado chocolate mousse (sounds gross but it’s actually fantastic), and other grilled veggies are being polished off as they lift their plates and ask for more.

They have been getting chicken nuggets when they would have been just as happy with baked chicken. And they would have been exponentially healthier for it. For years.

It’s one of those heavy “feel like a terrible mom” kind of moments. I wasn’t intentionally cheating them of nutrition. I simply didn’t try many alternatives.

It’s spilt almond milk at this point, but it does make me feel sad. All I can do is do better tomorrow. And the day after that. But the day after that I plan to regress so additional better days will have to follow that one.

For me, true self-improvement initiatives are always coupled with epiphanies about the positive changes I can implement as I continue along my human journey. I can handle that it takes me years to stumble into some of these epiphanies. My only wish is that my children’s well-being is not left hanging in the balance in the meantime.

Oh well. A little better each day will turn into lots of wonderful in the long-run. I just have to keep trying. ❤️

 

The Carbs are Gone but the Pounds Have Yet to Disappear

I have been living the low carb lifestyle for at least five days now. Despite this extensive commitment that I have displayed, I have yet to lose dozens of pounds. I am further confused because Oprah hasn’t contacted me to discuss my inspirational life shift. I’m an intelligent woman so clearly I recognize that she’s probably just waiting for Deepak’s schedule to open up so they can conference call me. Nevertheless that still doesn’t explain the nonresponse from my body. It seems scientifically logical to expect that my fluff would disappear and my physique would reflect an instant bikini bod. I have made this change for days and days so clearly it can forgive and forget the decades upon decades of crappy eating in return.

There is one other slight detail that I haven’t verified at this point. I have yet to check my weight. I’m too nervous to take that obvious step because I know that I will be bummed if my weight is the same. Even worse, if my weight has gone up, I will be extremely disheartened and will probably retaliate (against my own health???) and go back to nutritional garbage. When I get to the point where I can take that dramatic photo of me standing gleefully in one pants leg while holding my waistband out to Louisiana, I think that I will then be comfortable checking the scales.

Did I mention that I also removed caffeine from my daily everything as well? YES. I have removed carbs, sugar, AND my long-term beloved – caffeine. I recently noticed that I was experiencing consistent energy crashes after the short-term wake-up I was getting from the caffeine. It was that “trying desperately to keep from falling asleep on your desk at school” kind of exhaustion except that it was happening at work. And home. And while I was driving. And all within an hour of consuming caffeine.

So in an act of desperation and analytical curiosity, I removed caffeine, too. As a reward for these changes, I have been working through some lovely caffeine cold turkey headaches. I also went throuht a few days of my feeling like my allergies were in overdrive. The only time that I have ever experienced this was when I was going to have a medical procedure amd was forced to take a two-week hiatus from an over the counter antihistamine that I had been instructed to take daily (for years). I would have never believed that you could experience withdrawal from an antihistamine, but I absolutely did. My reaction was so severe that I will never allow anyone in my family to use an antihistamine on a daily basis ever again. Please note that I am not a doctor nor am I implying that you should ever ignore your physician’s recommendations. I am sayosa that it’s worthwhile to take a closer look at how your long-term medications might impact the natural processes within your body.

However my latest reactions haven’t been in response to pharmaceutical changes. I only made some food intake modifications and caffeine restrictions. Again this is unnerving to me.

What was I consuming previously that would send my body into histamine overload? I suspect that the answer is a simple one. I have been putting crap into my body for decades and the crap most of us are eating grows progressively crappier with every year that passes. And worst of all, my body didn’t know what to do without the crud.

Thankfully, it appears that I have finally moved past the histamine flare ups and the caffeine headaches, and my energy level has skyrocketed (relatively speaking). In addition I don’t seem to be having the blood sugar crashes that have consistently forced me out of bed in the middle of every single night for years to get a snack. Literally years. In less than a week of diet changes, that problem has suddenly stopped making its standard 2 or 3am appearance.

Joking aside, I do miss feeling like I can eat the same foods I see everyone around me eating including most notably my own family. Even then, I genuinely feel very positive about the changes I’ve made so far. I feel better overall. While I doubt that I’ve lost several pounds to date, I am hopeful that this will occur if I can continue making choices that my body seems thrilled to accept. Fingers and toes crossed.

I would love to tell you more, but I need to take care of a few things while I still have time. Oprah and Deepak will surely be calling at any moment, and you know how much they love to gab on and on. Oh well. In the meantime, take care and best wishes for your health, too.

Love and light always. Jo

Transforming an Awkward Combination into a Rustic Design Beauty – Another Jo Project

I don’t do exercise. I do projects. Although both require significant energy, I have found that my long-term results are significantly better with design. As I access my creative side, my stress dissipates and excitement takes its place. I feel reinvigorated when I can put together a unique or fun new addition that brighten up someone’s living space.

I enjoy finding items that appear to be awkward combinations and pairing them in interesting ways. My other goal is to create a high-end product via the use of low-end inputs. I firmly believe that you do not have to spend endless amounts of money to achieve beauty in your home or office. With that said, if you do happen to have endless amounts of money, please feel free to contact me at your earliest convenience. I would love to work with you and have specific helpful suggestions regarding where you can put those unused funds (make the check to “Jo Price”).

For the rest of us currently stuck in reality, there are countless ways to put together eye-catching design pieces at very reasonable prices. One item I frequently incorporate into rooms is one or more old windows. Most vintage and antique dealers have these, but there is no need to buy the most expensive window you can find. I look for windows that have interesting glass panes with minimal breakage and low levels of wood rot on the frames. If it’s truly an old window, it’s tough to avoid the wood rot, and you get better deals if you are willing to buy and clean these up a bit.

You will have to wipe off any dust, mold and general funk. As many of the old windows have lead paint, gloves and masks are a must. I sometimes redo the paint and frame, but I actually love to see the old rusty hardware and previous paint colors showing through. However even if the paint doesn’t need to be redone, I still take steps to reinforce the frame.

You should be able to find metal corner braces at most hardware stores.

I typically reinforce the windows by using a screw driver to attach metal corner braces. Be careful when you do this as you don’t want to split the wood nor do you want to break the glass. As corner braces aren’t my favorite design accent, I either cover them with a few strokes of chalk paint, or I hide them altogether.

My primary window accent is typically a shelf bracket. Yes – shelf bracket. You screw them down into the window versus up into a shelf.

Attaching an intricate bracket to the corner(s) of an old beat-up window creates a surprising look of elegance while further reinforcing the stability of the window frame. I don’t mind a few cracks here and there as I feel like those give the windows more personality, but large brackets can sometimes be used to hide some defects or breaks in the panes.

If you want to attach further hardware to hang your window, be sure that the wood is strong enough to bear the weight. I spent more time than I care to admit attaching elaborate hardware to the large window pictured in this post. Ultimately, I decided that I prefered the way it looked when it was leaning against the wall. It was an annoying realization, but the end result was worth all the trouble regardless.

My style of decorating may be very different from yours, but it wouldn’t be any fun if we all danced to the same beat anyway. The point is to take a little time every now and then to make your space beautiful. We feel better on the inside when we surround ourselves on the outside with pieces that strike us as beautiful. They warm our living spaces, speak to our inner style, and give us a sense of pride. This has nothing to do with how much you spend. It’s truly about creating ways to transform simplicity to sophistication and mundane to magnificent.

Best of luck to you!  Jo Price

Originally posted on anotherjoproject.com.  🙂

I Mustache You What You Are Eating

I’m cutting out carbs. Aaaaagain. My track record on this surpassed “not good” long ago. To put it mildly, my healthy eatibg conviction and follow through has been at “stanky to the max” level for quite some time.

I prefer fruits, but even fruits are loaded with sugars. Some fruits are great, but the emphasis should be on the veggies. Bleh.

I’ve tried the liquid route – protein shakes, blends of veggies and fruits, etc. – but I just don’t feel satiated with those.

Clearly I need to up my protein intake, but even that can problematic for me. I can be extremely picky, and my getting burnt out and grossed out with the meat overload doesn’t help. Whenever someone throws out the word “tofu” as a possible protein solution, I find myself thinking about how it’s ironic that “tofu” is a four letter word that I associate with multiple other four letter words. I would provide examples, but this is a family show so you’ll have to use your imagination.

Maybe I’m nuts to go this route yet again, but I don’t feel good in my body. That makes me feel sad, so I have to try. And as I read that last sentence, I hear Yoda in my mind… “Do or do not. There is no try.” I’m guessing that Yoda never struggled with being a sugar addict.

If you have any websites or tips on low-carb, no sugar, paleo-esque, or other similar options, I would genuinely appreciate the advice. Please note that intelligent / common sense recommendations with regard to overall health are lovely, but they don’t sustain long-term commitment to low carb eating for this girl. I know what I should do, but somehow that’s not enough.

Thanks in advance.  😉  Jo

Liquid

A Place in the World Away From It All

One mile over. It’s such a small distance, but it might as well be a million miles away. We moved here to get away from the standard suburban neighborhood. We had great neighbors, but we were in need of more space so we could scream at our kids in peace and quiet. We were so close that we could hear conversations happening on the other side of the fence while we were inside our home. From the back of our home, we looked across a pond at a dozen other homes. There was no sense of privacy if you weren’t hidden behind closed shades. I could never allow the girls to run free on the weekend mornings whenever I had a few precious minutes to sit quietly on the back patio while drinking my coffee (and when I say the girls, I’m not referring to my daughters). We needed more elbow room, and we were desperate for trees.

So we moved a mere mile down the road. In case word has not gotten out, allow me to be the first to tell you that trees are immeasurably awesome. If you have them, keep them, and if you don’t, put some in if you can. Why in the world builders and developers continue to mow them down is truly beyond me. Perhaps our friends are all closet tree-huggers, but we have yet to have anyone comment about how terrible it must be to have our view mucked up by all that nature.

Although we have lived here for several months now, I still find myself in awe of it. I have never been surrounded by so much green. There is life everywhere I look, and I feel like I’m breathing it all in (but don’t worry – I take Zyrtec as needed).

I lie in bed at night and watch fireflies flickering around our yard. Over the past month, I have seen more colorful birds behind my home than I have ever seen in my life. We see owls in the trees in the evenings and hear their calls at night. And when a storm rolls in and the wind blows through the leaves, the sound is magical.

Life continues to have its ups and downs, but the setting inherently leads us to moments of calm in the chaos. We can’t help but encourage nature to come even closer. We have set up so many birdhouses that we are contemplating implementing some kind of aviary taxation system to help us pay for them. I’m afraid to run the numbers, but I’m fairly confident that our funds going toward bird food purchases are about to lap those designated for our people food purchases. Not that my husband would complain, but I’m still thankful that I handle the bills.

We have played with hummingbirds, spent time adding raised garden boxes, planted vines and flowers, and set up impromptu extra beds in our room so we can watch the lightning storms brighten the sky through the silhouette of the trees together. Even my hydrangeas do better here. This may seem trivial, but those who have also led countless hydrangeas to their death will appreciate that gardening miracle. Life thrives here despite my questionable botanical track record.

On the animal front, we spent several weeks trying to decipher the various tracks we would find each morning in our yard. This was especially surprising given that the tracks were inside our enclosed fence. Ultimately we turned in our Indian guide badges and bought a game cam (best $50 I spent EVER).

The pics above are from two separate evenings. The other one hundred plus evenings that the game cam has been in place has revealed even more animal species, and that did not include the wild hogs, deer, bobcats, or snakes (bleh) that have been seen here, too. We have since further enclosed our formerly thought to be enclosed but not as enclosed as we initially believed fence. While we still find tracks regularly in our yard, I now point the game cam outside of our fence line to the adjacent thicket of trees. I need to believe that the wild kingdom within our fence has slowed a bit and refuse to acknowledge the reality that we definitely still have a serious nocturnal zoo living in our yard.

As a side note, I would like to mention that I have discovered that raccoons and armadillos are the jerks of the nocturnal animal world. Thanks to Ranger Rick, all of my bird feeders have to be placed five hundred feet off the ground or very literally chained to their branches. If you are in need of large carabiners, don’t bother going to Amazon. I already bought their entire stock. In addition, we now have to put huge stones around all new plants to keep the leprosy kings from digging them up (Nine-banded armadillos are carriers of leprosy and are native to our area. These cootie factories with claws have been wreaking havoc in our yard every night as visions of sugar plums dance in our heads). Are these cute from a distance? Yes! Are they about to become a hat and a weird kitchy Texas-themed lamp? Even bigger yes! But once we move past the jerk animals of the night drama, it still fascinates me to know that they are so close at all times.

That’s just how it is here. We are minutes from our previous home, but we are light years from our previous life there. I feel infinitely blessed here, and it makes me want to talk to people about the wonders that they could see if they would leave or replant a few native trees and bushes. Maybe our little plot of magic will inspire someone around us to invite the wilderness back into their yard, too.

On that note, I will leave you with the final words of a book I have adored since my childhood. We read it to our own children now, and the words feel more important than ever before.

“Catch! calls the Once-ler.
He lets something fall.
It’s a Truffula Seed.
It’s the last one of all!
You’re in charge of the last of the Truffula Seeds.
And Truffula Trees are what everyone needs.
Plant a new Truffula. Treat it with care.
Give it clean water. And feed it fresh air.
Grow a forest. Protect it from axes that hack.
Then the Lorax
and all of his friends
may come back.”
― Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

Place in the World

The Serenity Prayer for Parents – Finding Laughter in the Mayhem

The Serenity Prayer 2.0 actually applies to all of us, but I’m in mom mode at the moment. Consequently this one is for my kids as well as every other parent I know. If you can’t find laughter, you’ll never make it!  😉

Laughter

Parenting a Child in a World of Rapid Technological Changes

A long time ago in a house not so far, far away, I didn’t have children yet. Nevertheless I knew what I wouldn’t and wouldn’t allow them to do if I ever did. I would be a firm parent but always maintain a fun-loving atmosphere. My spouse and I would set rules and boundaries that would be agreed upon by all and we would avoid the obvious pitfalls that inevitably consumer Dr. Phil’s rotation of daily wailing families. Intelligence, consistency, and love would govern our family at all times.

Unsurprisingly to any parent in the universe, a flushing sound was heard in the background within seconds of the birth of my first child, and I watched every parenting certainty go swirling down the tubes out of sight never to be seen again. My former pre-parent list of “I would never … if those were my kids” items morphed into my actual parent list of “Questionable Choices Made Today” items. The only truism I now recognize without question is that before I had children, I didn’t have the slightest clue.

Parenting should be defined as the act of trying to make good choices while being faced with uncertain decisions, cloudy possibilities, and a heap of exhaustion. The one hour television shows that taught us how to parent with kindness and consistency didn’t cover the remaining twenty-three hours of the day nor did they detail the thousands of days to come after that.

And then you introduce technology onto the parenting scene. Bleh. These electronic wonders that were designed to make life easier and more entertaining are huge problems. The pre-parent me wouldn’t have seen that. That me put technology-saturated kids in the same category as fat dogs. Show me evidence that proves that your husky husky is opening up the fridge and making a butter and cream sandwich while the humans are sleeping. Perhaps he has a thyroid issue, or maybe he’s just big-boned. If not, he has likely become an adorable sausage with feet because the only resident individuals with thumbs happen to be overfeeding him. We’ve had a under-tall / over-fluffy canine of our own, so don’t start foaming at the mouth.

I saw the same dynamic with regard to kids and tech. A large part of me still agrees with the bulk of that assessment today. Very few children buy their own devices, and I have yet to meet a fifth grader who could give me cogent details regarding reasons that led them to a 24 month contract with their current internet service provider. Parents and caregivers almost exclusively hold the keys to the internet and cell phone kingdom, but much like everything else, it’s not that cut and dry.

Schools expect children to have technology in the classrooms for access to research and various apps. Outside of school, many children are also active on social media. My husband and I are social media buzzkills and therefore prohibit our children from having these kinds of accounts at this point in their young lives. We see too many adults behaving like means kids online, so we can’t imagine how far children would be willing to go. With that said, I did set up an Instagram account for my daughter’s photography work, but her contributions are sent to me and I post them. She has zero direct access. It’s not that I don’t trust her. It’s that I ABSOLUTELY DON’T TRUST HER. She’s brilliant and low on the trouble scale, but ultimately, she’s a kid! It is standard in the land of kid-dom to look to the “bonehead and no clue about the consequences” choices category when there are extensive other available alternate selections in the “obviously better and trouble-free” choices category.

As parents, we want to believe that our children would neeeeever make a poor decision like XYZ because we repeatedly taught them not to do anything like that ever ever ever. The problem is that those well-educated children still believe that we are the real boneheads feeding them made up stories and that ultimately we don’t know what we are talking about. So when my husband was scanning the kids’ phones a few days ago and discovered that our daughter did XYZ the other day, it was another monster parental wake up call. Her XYZ du jour happened to be creating a Twitter account without our knowledge. Thankfully she only set it up with her email address. And photo. And full name. And birthday. Aaaand frickin’ home address. Oh yes. She so did.  I’m only surprised that she didn’t come to me to request her social security number for her bio deets.

Do I really believe that she was intentionally trying to put her info out there for anyone in the world to see? Not in the slightest. A friend of hers already had a Twitter account, and our daughter wanted one, too. She had set up the account with her full information because those were the standard blanks (that most internet aware individuals would either skip or flag as private data).

Had we previously spoken with her on numerous occasions about information sharing and the dangers of giving out her personal data? Of course. Had we explained repeatedly that she would need to provide an opener for the can o’ whoop ass that we would be accessing if she were ever to set up an online account without our permission? Naturally. Did my child know better? Yes.

And no.

She clearly knew that she was not allowed to set up any accounts on the computer without our permission. That part made me mad. However she didn’t have the slightest comprehension about what someone else could do with that level of data. And that part terrified me. Hasta la never kid Twitter account.

Admittedly her move was not quite as fab as that of my friend’s young daughter. This precocious internet rockstar decided to set up her dad with a Match.com account without his knowledge. She keyed in his actual personal information and noted that he was looking to date senior citizen gay men. They promptly deleted the account as soon as they were notified about its existence via a signup confirmation email. While neither parent has issues with senior citizen gay men, they aren’t quite ready to go the open relationship route nor are they looking to post their personal information online.

Maybe their daughter simply believed that her dad had worked too hard for too long and was merely trying to find him a short-term sugar daddy with a long-term payout option. Speaking personally, I strongly disagree with the parents’ decision to delete the account. What if Elton John had been online moments later and feeling frisky??? NO ONE SHOULD RISK MISSING THAT CALL. But alas, the account is now gone forever like a candle in the wind.

You can’t make this crap up. While one might be tempted to give them props for initiative, creativity, and true comedic style, neither their daughter nor ours saw the dangers in their actions. What if Elton had called? That girl could be left fatherless now. Or maybe she would have multiple fathers (one of whom would have a far better wardrobe than she could ever imagine – imagine the years of insecurity she would have to survive). And then there’s the whole “extensive personal data that doesn’t belong on the internet” thing.

At least I have another darling who is a few years older and would never make those poor choices. He prefers alternate poor choices including an ongoing penchant for circumventing or outright breaking the app lock I have on his phone (it keeps them from downloading, deleting, or accessing various applications). I don’t know how this mini-hacker does what he does, but I strongly suspect that I purchased an app designed by a five-year old. (I call quality apps such as these crapplications.) So when we discovered that he did his own magical app lock unlock feat yet again, I went on a wide-reaching tech raid at home. Both phones are resting snugly on my nightstand as I type and the power cords to the game systems have gone into hiding.

Somehow there are other parents who are even more clueless than I. Thank you for displaying your tech noob-ness online and at Best Buy. Take heart though. It’s been years yet I still can’t get used to the word pnw.

The problem is that banishing the tech quickly goes from general punishment to making your child a social pariah. When we were kids, we did wild and crazy things like play outside and talking to each other about anything at all. This might still be possible with the littles, but it isn’t as common for the bigs and even more unlikely if are not within walking or biking distance of their pals.

On a temporary basis, I’m all good with rule breaking resulting in no game playing. It’s back to the “your dog is a chunk, so put less food in his bowl” approach. It seems obvious, right? But literally within days, they can become extremely isolated from their peers.

Recent studies have shown that ten zillion and three kids play games like Fortnite (or Fork Knife for you nerd-challenged parents whom I adore). When they do this, most play via online interactive teams with their friends who are also playing from their own homes. If children aren’t part of the specific teams, they don’t have that shared experience. If they don’t have the shared experience, they don’t have anything to talk about at school the next day. Or the next day. Or the next. The same goes for lack of access to YouTube or social media. If you have ever attempted having a conversation with a techie kid about anything offline, you may find that it’s short but probably not too sweet. They no longer know how to converse with adults or comfortably connect with their peers at a personal level without an intermediary – technology.

I do recognize that this problem is in no way applicable to every child, but this is a pervasive problem for countless our families. Too many brilliant teenagers struggle with basic writing and are unable to have face to face conversations. Meals are spent with a fork in one hand and a phone in the other. I saw an article detailing the extreme loneliness the younger generations are currently experiencing. No surprise there. Even when they are together, they might as well be in a room by themselves with a phone or remote. Everything circles around moment to moment entertainment and stimulation. Video to video to video and game to game to game and site to site to site. We see it everywhere we go.

How do I get in front of this now? How can I keep my children from falling into the electronic rabbit hole? I could choose to trust my children and recognize that they are inherently good people with caring involved parents. Yes they will make mistakes, but ultimately, they will learn from those errors in judgement in the long run.

ERRRRR – Wrong! They are too young, too naive, and way too accessible.

Well I guess could banish the phones forever, turn the game console power cords into wreaths that I could then be sold on Etsy, and smash the laptops thus firmly committing the family to smoke signals and paper. That feels closer to right but still no dice.

The honest truth is that I don’t have a solid answer. The approach that feels like the best option for our family in this moment is to learn from other parents who have been there done that and research alternate security apps. We are also setting heavier restrictions in the device security options, tossing the crapplications, paying for a service through our cell provider that will send us detailed phone and web activity, and setting router limits that will throttle their internet and game time whenever we become too distracted or exhausted to notice that it is needed.

We can’t afford to become complacent nor can we ever turn a blind eye to the need to protect our darlings from the very real dangers who are actively trying to find them. If you think I’m being dramatic, take a glance at the lovely emails that were sent straight to your spam folder. Now imagine that they are being sent to directly to your child instead and that your kid decides to read and respond to them. Are you okay with that? Are you comfortable with those people speaking with your children, knowing where they live, and establishing a friendly relationship with them? If you are, not only are we on different pages, but I’m pretty sure that we aren’t even in the same book.

We must continue to educate our children and keep this conversation active with them. They need to hear the words, and their vocal cords could probably use the practice in return. Stay involved, keep your eyes open, and stop calling it Fork Knife (unless I am within earshot because I can always use a good laugh).

Best wishes to you always – Jo

Rapid

It’s As If You Can’t Even Hear Me

There are those in your world who will never be able to hear you. They don’t see you or get you, and no matter what you do, that dynamic won’t change. Thankfully, there are others who do, but that doesn’t mean that the relationships with those people will always be smooth or easy. When things get rough, it’s time to be raw and honest and speak up. If someone can’t or won’t hear you, that’s on them. But if you don’t recognize your value, it seems reasonable that other people won’t be able to see it either. You must put your own needs and wants back on the table. Relationships are never going to be a 50 / 50 deal, but there should always be a give and take dynamic.

If you are an incessant taker, cut that crap out. No one likes a bully, and you are going to lose the other person someday when they snap out of their endless giving spree. And if you are a boundless giver, find that spine you misplaced all those years ago and stop being a frickin’ weenie. Stand up for yourself and recognize that balancing the needs of both people make for a healthier overall relationship. You may be telling yourself that you live this way because you are meant to serve, but that can lead to tremendous resentment with a seriously ugly and painful ripple effect. Pop the delusion bubble, and realize that every life needs love, nourishment, and fulfillment – that includes your own.

Be a good listener, but also make sure that you are heard. Get out of the shadow! You matter, and you are so important. Remind your partners that you have a voice, and remind yourself that you have value.

***This post is dedicated to several of my incredible rockstar friends who have been disguising themselves as weenies. Remember that you matter, and remind the people in your life who you really are. Be honest with them, but even more importantly, be honest with yourself about what you really need.

Love to you always. Jo

Bubble