Since I Couldn’t Find the Right Hallmark Card for Valentine’s Day…

I tried to find a card. Not that he likes getting cards anyway because he feels like they are a complete waste of paper. Are you swept up in the romance yet? We go through this card dance annually. The closest thing I could find was a “Happy Valentine’s Day Co-worker!” card.  I’m not even making that up. It was so bad that it almost made it back to good. Almost. I sincerely apologize for not taking a picture of it – an inexcusable blogging error.

Valentine’s Day just isn’t our bag baby. Never has been. Never will be. But he got me a card. I know this because I saw it hanging out on the counter in the kitchen… just lurking there… waiting for me to open it. He bought that card because he recognizes that I appreciate a display of effort. I wanted to return said display and thus tried to find a card for him. However I wanted one that conveyed how I honestly felt. A real card. A card that captured the essence of our relationship. A card that he would know could only be from me.

And the picture above is the end result. I even created that lovely magical heart-barfing emoji. Yes, once again, I have proven that I am a true artist. As a bonus. I am going to print it on used paper that already has been used on the other side or maybe a piece of old mail. That’s right folks. I am an artist AND an environmentalist in action as evidenced by my overt display of my commitment to his weird anti-paper wasting card platform. Best. Wife. Ever. Yeah baby!

If it’s your gig, happy V Day. If not, please know that a little part of that heart-barfing emoji is meant for you, too.

Love always – Jo

***This dose of reality is dedicated to Cayce –  a quick-witted gem of a mama and fellow anti-V Day activist, K-Skillet – my momming partner in crime who will be luxuriating in a swanky romantic spa day strictly because she booked the damn thing herself, and my dear friend Laura – hopefully your man didn’t buy you a frickin’ bag of salt again (Not aromatherapy salt. Not bath salt to soothe her exhausted muscles and nerves. Salt.). You ladies help me to laugh more, cry less, and smile always. I love you darlings! To the moon and back.  😉

Turning Your Problems into Your Purpose

We all have stories. Painful memories. Hurtful parts of our lives that we don’t share.

So often we feel like we are alone in these experiences. We deem ourselves broken beyond repair and remain silent to avoid judgement and further distress. The idea of highlighting these events is unthinkable. We just want to forget them and find a way to wipe the slate clean.

But what if the part of your life that seemed to knock you off track was actually the very thing that set you on your path? What if the toughest of times were designed to shape us rather than to shatter us?

If we can hold on through the roughest of times, we will be able to see the light in the darkness. You will find that the madness has meaning and that we are never alone in our journey. We are a part of something so much bigger than ourselves, and every sliver of this grand design has a purpose.

This past summer I unexpectedly found myself discussing severe depression, crippling anxiety, and the struggles that go hand in hand with them. I hadn’t planned on covering those topics. Many people who have known me for years would never have a clue about that part of my life, and while I don’t even begin to pretend that I live in perpetual joy free of worry, it has been years since I struggled deeply with the absolute terror and debilitating effects of those disorders. However I write about them now because I have realized that most people who are in that place are too embarrassed or ashamed to share it. I did not realize how rampant the problem was until I wrote a personal post about my experience with depression as a child. I was stunned by the number of calls and messages I received in response. Happy confident problem-free people all around me whom I had known for years were drowning in their pain and isolation.

Mental health is a taboo subject. It doesn’t make for great table conversation at parties or PTA meetings. People don’t tell you their name and then add their diagnosis, nor do they discuss when their children are battling these problems. This deafening silence has led countless people believe that they are the only ones struggling. They lose hope, and too often, they give up before they are able to see the light once more.

Don’t ever let fear and hopelessness defeat you. The darkness will dissipate, life will get better, and you will be most certainly stronger for it. There is a purpose in all of our lives. We are called to be so much more than we think we can be, and we impact innumerable people around us.

What is your purpose? What events in your journey have broken you? Or maybe the real question is what events have forged you into the person you are divinely designed to be? Can you make it past being a victim of your disorder / circumstances / life experiences and become a survivor? If you can survive, can you go even further and move into thriving? And if you can thrive, can you help others who have walked a similar path to do the same?

Yes. Without question. You absolutely can.

You are not your past. You are not the mistakes of other, their false judgements, the misunderstandings, or the unkind words they have been spoken to you. You are not your diagnosis. But you can take all of these and use them to help you become something bigger and better and spectacular beyond measure.

You don’t have to be perfect to change the lives of others in amazing ways. You simply have to be open to this world of endless possibilities, be willing to conjur up a little faith, and be strong enough to find a way to be brave in the face of your fears.

Own your problems, find your purpose, and always always always be brave.

Love and light to you – Jo

Conjure